'She humiliated my coworker': Jealous fiancée invites everyone from workplace to her wedding except one person

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Aug 7, 2023 5:00 PM EDT

Even though they just got engaged, this man is already rethinking his upcoming marriage. U/fullishfool decided to share this story to r/AmItheA**hole to get the internet's opinion on his fiancée's bizarre behavior. 

As you plan your wedding, there are so many decisions to make. One of the first is who you're going to invite. Small weddings may just include family and friends, while other couples love to go all out and invite extended family and coworkers. This OP wanted to invite his coworkers, and his fiancée agreed to it. He especially wanted to invite his friend Tally, who he considers to be a close friend among his colleagues. They work together at a retail store, and the OP's fiancée decided to approach her in front of all of the workers. She then proceeded to tell her she wasn't invited! The story just gets stranger from there. You can check out the entire tale below, as well as commenters who strongly urged the OP to be cognizant of these red flags waving right in front of his face. 

Up next, this dude's HOA decided that they really hated the look of his car just because it's older, and they devised a plan to get rid of it that backfired on them. 

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  • 01
    Rectangle - 'Amy spoke up and said everyone from my job can come [to the wedding] except my work friend Tally'
    via Mediamodifier on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - AITA for telling my fiancee to get her insecurities in check and grow up after she humiliated my coworker? Not the A-hole Recently I (25m) got engaged to my amazing fiancee (24f) Amy. I was the happiest I have ever been when Amy said yes and was nothing but excited for our wedding. We started planning the venues, the dates and the invites. When talking about who to invite, we both agreed to invite out coworkers as we have worked in our respective jobs for years and
    via u/fullishfool
  • 03
    Font - like them all. As I checked that off the list, Amy spoke up and said everyone from my job can come except my work friend Tally (26f). Tally is also one of my close friends so this surprised me that Amy didn't want to invite her. She has met Tally multiple times and there didn't seem to be any issues. When I asked why, she said she just doesn't like her and finds our friendship uncomfortable, saying she thinks that Tally is the type of person to try to sway taken men and be the center of a
    via u/fullishfool
  • 04
    Font - After talking some more to see where she got this idea, it turned out this was based on nothing but Tally's looks as even Amy admitted that Tally is always very kind to her. But still, Amy is adamant about Tally not going and said that she makes her insecure. Amy is a beautiful woman so I dont know why she feels this way.
    via u/fullishfool
  • 05
    Font - I told Amy that if it makes her feel comfortable not having Tally at the wedding then that is fine, BUT before invitations go out I wanted to speak to her privately to let her know to save embarrassment. Amy agreed and that was really that, we didn't speak on the matter after. A week or so later i went into work and Tally started to ignore me, only really talking if it was work related. I was confused as it isnt just her, our coworkers have started to ignore her and acting strange to me.
    via u/fullishfool
  • 06
    Font - asked what the problem was when he asked if I actually didnt know what happened. He then filled me in. Turned out a few days earlier Amy came to my work on my day off with invitations (I had no idea she even made them yet) and handed everyone an invite in front of Tally, then saying to Tally "you aren't invited, women like you aren't welcome" which has sparked everyone suggesting she is my "other woman". Since then she has been harassed by some guys at work and shunned by the women. She i
    via u/fullishfool
  • 07
    Font - This ped me off and I apologised profusely as I didn't know. When I got home that night I confronted Amy about this. She denied it at first, but then told me she did it but it is now not an issue because she's quitting her job. I flipped on her saying how she clearly didnt trust me to say and that she crossed a line doing all this behind my back. She didn't see
    via u/fullishfool
  • 08
    Font - the problem and got upset asking me why I'm so mad, me responding "if we are really going to get married, get your insecurities in check and grow up". I stayed at a friends since but have had texts from Amy, her friends and her mother saying I was an for this and that Amy a doesn't deserve this treatment. AITA?
    via u/fullishfool
  • 09
    Font - Edit: I should have explained better 2 things: 1. I have made many attempts to speak to Tally privately to find out what was happening prior to contacting her bf. She brushed me off by saying she either had work to do or that there was nothing to talk about. No one would really speak to me so I contacted her bf as a last resort. Her bf says he is going to pass onto Tally what I said to him on the phone.
    via u/fullishfool
  • 10
    Font - 2. The wedding is currently on hold, that is also why I'm staying at my friends. Need some distance to figure stuff out. I made the post because of all the texts.
    via u/fullishfool
  • 11
    Font - Edit 2: Jesus this blew up, and I must say thank you to everyone for the advice you are giving me. But there is one thing I must clear up.... the whole suggestion that I may have cheated on Amy with Tally.
    via u/fullishfool
  • 12
    Font - All I can ask is can people of the opposite sex not be friends without anything untoward happening? Nothing has or ever will happen with Tally, no feelings, nothing adult, absolutely nothing! Tally is happy and inlove, her boyfriend is someone I also consider a close friend, I was happy with Amy (prior to this) and Tally is more like a sister to me. I find it pretty disturbing that people are even suggesting that I did something with Tally. Ask yourself this, why in gods green earth would
    via u/fullishfool
  • 13
    Font - Also I don't work in an office. I have no idea where people are getting this idea from since I never said where or what industry I work in. I work in a retail chain... nothing special.
    via u/fullishfool
  • 14
    Font - Questions: 1. What am I planning to do about Tally? Unfortunately due to what Amy has done, all I can really do is damage control. Of course I am planning to explain to everyone what has happened, I do not want Tally to be going through this. She is a genuinely kind person who does not deserve any of this. I am actually on my way to speak to our boss at the moment to see what can be done. Tally's boyfriend is also saying he will speak to her on my behalf and see if he can get her to talk
    via u/
  • 15
    Product - Jonsotheraccount79. 5 & 5 More Parta pant [2] NTA. Red flags everywhere. I'd put your wedding on hold. This behavior won't improve. 27.8k Share
    via u/Jonsotheraccount79
  • 16
    Font - punkrockc block. S Aficionado [10] As Your fiance planned how she would humiliate your friend after she forced you into not inviting her to your wedding. Your fiance is an insecure, jealous child. ΝΤΑ Why do you want to marry this person?
    via u/punkrockc***block
  • 17
    Font - JuryNo7670 This sounds like a person who is finally showing her true colors. Almost like she was being one person until she was engaged and now that she feels it's a done deal she can be who she really is. OP needs to run because she sounds like an immature, selfish, cruel and frankly bratty person. I would not want to make a life with a person like this. I bet OP will see more and more if this personality if he stays with her.
    via u/JuryNo7670
  • 18
    Font - AppropriateBasket94 A: Enthusiast [9] Nta. Holy. She harassed an innocent woman and went behind your back, then lied when you confronted her about it. There are so many red flags. If you ever have a female friend, she'll probably do it again. You should reevaluate your relationship and see if this is something you want in your future.
    via u/AppropriateBasket94
  • 19
    Rectangle - Expensive_Fee696 2@ Parta: pant [4] NTA. As someone who has lived and seen some ish this is really.... I don't even know what this is. Your fiancee is not just insecure. She is also mean, sneaky, vindictive and a bonafide mean girl. And on top of ALL that she is a liar. She not only lied to everybody else she lied to YOU.
    via u/Expensive_Fee696
  • 20
    Font - She humiliated a girl she hardly knew based on looks and then got all that poor girls coworkers to do the same to her to the point she had to leave her job? This is not a girl you marry. This is not the person you want raising your daughters. This. ain't. the. one. Fortunately you found out before the wedding so now it's really up to you. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a person like that? 1.8k Share
    via u/Expensive_Fee696
  • 21
    Font - CatLover1945 NTA. So.... why are you still with her? You describe her as "amazing"... she doesn't sound too amazing to me. What she did would be a deal breaker for me. Do you really want to marry someone who sees no issue with deliberately humiliating another person? BTW, I know you told her to get her insecurities in check, but frankly, she won't change. This behavior won't ever get better. You deserve someone better than her. You deserve someone who trusts you.
    via u/CatLover1945
  • 22
    Font - [deleted] NTA. I'd definitely think twice about marrying someone that would blow up your professional life over her (unfounded) insecurities, especially after you explicitly agreed on a plan. This is the warning she's giving you.
    via u/deleted
  • 23
    Font - RogueDIL A This. Aficionado [15] Do not ignore her behaviour here. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. She's a petty insecure girl. She lashed out at Tally for no other reason than she's jealous that Tally is attractive. I'm not going to tell you to run for the hills. But you know that is exactly what you should do.
    via u/RogueDIL
  • 24
    Font - doggy_moggy I find it bizarre that OP starts off the post gushing about his fiancée but then goes on to describe how she's actually a horrid person. You are not an "amazing" person just because you hid how insecure and unreasonable you were until now.
    via u/doggy_moggy
  • 25
    Font - She is literally ruining another woman's life because she's jealous. How is HR not involved? From Tally's POV, her coworker's fiancée came to her place of work and publicly humiliated her and now she's being harassed by her own colleagues.
    via u/doggy_moggy
  • 26
    Font - If OP doesn't consider this to be a very serious incident then I guess he deserves whatever kind of marriage he's going to have with his fiancée, because I'm sure this won't be the only controlling thing she does going forward. If OP does marry her, she'll think this kind of action is fine.
    via u/doggy_moggy
  • 27
    Font - OP is certainly NTA for what he said to his fiancée but honestly what he said was tame considering the repercussions of his fiancée's actions on Tally's professional life.
    via u/doggy_moggy
  • 28
    Human body - Hurrystorm CANCEL THAT WEDDING IMMEDIATELY. NTA.
    via u/Hurrystorm
  • 29
    Font - TheEloraDanan Yes, definitely cancel the wedding, but I really think this is an ESH. Why did he agree to not inviting Tally in the first place? He's friends with her and everyone else in the office is invited. I would have called fiance out on that before it got any farther. He should run for sure, but please learn from this and catch those red flags sooner.
    via u/TheEloraDanan

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invitation aita Wedding Invitation invitations coworkers engaged invites wedding fiancé coworker workplace-stories retail retail worker workplace
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